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Corporate Alcoholism Part 4 | A Message Of Hope | Learning To Live After Addiction

Updated: Oct 8, 2019

"Recovered" ... It's A Grateful Life ..."

"Freedom: That's all I every really wanted. To think I ended up with so much more ..."


Follow The Links To:

Read Part 1 "The Drunken Years"

Read Part 2 "The Prescription Pill Addict Next Door"

Read Part 3 "An Almost Famous Chicken Named Woop"

You Are Here Part 4 "How I Recovered From Addiction ... A Grateful Life ..."



Old Endings | New Beginning


I have been sober for over 6.5 years now and looking back it was all worth it!


... How did we get here:


(A) The Intervention

So one day after literally being up for seven days and nights straight - in the middle of a creative, meth infused frenzy, which probably was just more of a frenzy and a lot less creative - the wife comes out to the shop and asks me to the house to talk. We walk through the house to the back sunroom and there’s the whole family! Mom, Dad, my sister from out of state, my doctor, a couple friends and few folks I didn’t know and couldn’t remember if I saw them today. They said they had a place for me to go. A hospital that specialized in addiction. I basically crumbled. Terrified the run was over but thrilled that the horror would soon be over. Another 28 days in this place they’d found and I’d be good as new!

... At least that's what I thought.

(B) The Detox Medz

I woke up the third day of detox and didn’t know where I was. Couldn’t remember where I lived and then realized, for a few split moments, I couldn’t even remember my name. It was really really bad! I stayed though because the detox meds were fun! I continued to stay, because I thought in a few weeks I'd be good as new. I was wrong. Wondering around lost, pretty well disgusted with everyone there, bumping into walls and constantly getting lost in the halls looking for my room, but listening to their stuff and sitting through their counseling sessions and meetings. Too out of it to participate in anything, but there

... I was still there.

After doing the math on it we figured I’d been drunk or stoned and often both for 40 years solid.One of the doctors at the hospital, who I initially could not stand but who

ended up being my sponsor and mentor to this day, said,

... "it would be five years before I started to regain any true clarity."

Five years ... he didn't know who he was dealing with. I told him he was full of BS and I’d be good as new in no time.

... I was wrong, again

And so we’re back to the beginning of this story.(Part 1)




(C) Extended Treatment Or Sober Living Environments


"ARCH -It's Like A Fraternity Without The Keg And Dope"

-The Founder


After many weeks in that hospital ... I was in really bad shape and thus the long stay ... They were talking about extended treatment. After clearly stating my points about my wife waiting and clients expecting me back and all that they simply said,


... “You know, if you’re dead, no one will be waiting on you ... and the shape you’re in and the path you are heading, you’ll be dead soon”.


I hated to admit it but I knew it was true... And so I went ... off to Arch Recovery (Sober Living Programs For Men), a place I feel I owe my life to.


The Best Little Recovery Place You Never Heard Of ... In Statesboro, GA

Wanting as badly as I did to think I could make some good clean time on my own, I knew I could not. Again, I was in BAD shape, mentally shot out! A couple months in I broke a rule. Mainly out of stupidity, but still a rule meant to be lived by. Funny how we always decide we're somehow immune to rules made for others. Anyway, the director dropped me at a local low rent motel and said, “Good luck”.



A Moment Of Clarity That Changed Everything I sat in that room, completely lost, and finally decided to make it down to the dirty street corner. I could find a little something to get me high and clear my head so I could figure what to do.

... "I realized deep inside then and there, if my thinking is so screwed up that I needed dope in order to clear my head enough to think, then maybe I should give this thing a try."

So at 52 years old, a good bit older than most there, I called the director and begged my way back to Arch with promise to give it my all ... even if I did have my doubts.



I Took The Long Road Home My recovery has been long and difficult. But then 'recovery' is a lot like learning. Just because you earn a degree doesn't mean you stop learning. Ten miles in the woods means ten miles out. It took quite some time for me to realize that a drink or drug would not 'fix' anything. It may simply change the way I feel for a while. And given the type alcoholic addict I am, my solution for feeling bad afterwards is to start all over again. Again and again.



Individualized Recovery? "Now It All Makes Sense" That's one of the key advantages to Arch Recovery. It's a place for men to live and work together long enough for that obsession to go away and learn some new coping skills for the challenges life throws at us.



Real Life Coping Skills For "Real Life" Not protected 'safe talk' about too many feelings and over complicating the reasons we have this disease. It seems too many treatment facilities focus on reasons, blame and the hows and the whys

... "ARCH focuses on the solutions, not the problems,"
I've seen a lot of guys come out of long term treatment 'knowing' a great deal about their disease, themselves, and all the triggers, reasons and excuses they get drunk and high. I also know a great deal of those same guys who are now in total relapse or dead in the ground.

Being Patient With Myself My personal addiction and confused thinking continues to take daily work, as does most. Although I have achieved great success over the years I struggle with getting back to the design business I love. It has taken a long time to get my thinking back to where I can work in my profession again. I have been rather relaxed about trying really hard until recently.

... "I only have myself to look at for the solution. Today I know that."

Letting Go

The wife got the house and most belongings in a divorce. Nothing to fall back on there. There was a time I would have plenty of excuses and lots of others to blame for my plight. There was a time I had gotten to hating everyone and everything in the world! And thought I had good reason to. The program at Arch, along with my sponsor and meetings helps me realize everything in the world is just fine ... It's all in the way I perceive it. It's not necessarily all the way I'd like it, but it is the way it is ... It's my choice from there.

"Forty years of being removed from true reality wires the brain into some screwy thinking. continue to work on fixing that thinking daily. Most of all I've not had a drink or a drug in six and half years, one day at a time."

Freedom: That was all I really wanted...

-No more groveling around for dope all day.

-No more carpet surfing or sweeping the floors and looking for the shiny stuff to smoke. -No more dirty deals with sleazy people in iffy spots. -No more feeling awful in the morning and hunting down all the different mixtures I needed to feel better.

-No more counting and dividing and stashing and hiding stuff everywhere, and often not even be able to find it again. I ended up with so much more than sobriety! I found, and was taught, a new way of living, a new way of thinking, and a new way of seeing the world around me. It did take quite some time to find some contentment and any excitement for the day ahead. It takes a lot to let so many material things go, to save your own life. I have found peace, most of the time, in just being alive. I seldom even appreciated that before.

Everyone Different

Each person's experience recovering from addiction is different. Each of us have different quirks and problems in our thinking and actions that need to be dealt with.

Removing the drink and drug is really just the beginning to a whole new way to live. A whole new way of seeing the world and all of us in it. An entirely new perspective on life and everything involved with it. I was once a person who saw the world like one big clock, mainly working for me and my needs. It was filled with the haves and the have-nots. I saw myself, in some sick and twisted way, as one who 'had' and seemed to think everyone else was here to somehow serve me, my needs and wants. I now have the ability to see that everyone ... all the gears, wheels and moving parts work together to function as a symbiotic whole. Each one of us doing our own thing to make it in this world, and each needing to respect and appreciate the other for doing their part, no matter what it is.

"I’ll not lie" ... I saw a lot of younger guys, not as deep into their addiction, come through Arch and get much better a whole lot faster than I have. Arch Recovery is a place where men live together, work a job and support themselves in a safe environment away from temptation and full of inspiration. There are peer group sessions, with a recovery coach supporting and overseeing the day-to-day operations vs. resident house managers. There if you need something and helps every guy through his own struggles, if he needs it...


The early months of recovery are quite difficult ... Coming to grips with some of the wreckage of our pasts is plenty good excuse to find a concoction of choice for escape and hide from the world. Arch is the perfect place for days like that. When you’re scared, confused, unsure and just down right shitty - which happens often in early recovery - Arch is the place to air that out. The house is full of guys going through the same thing and a great place to be through those early months.

Men have plenty of emotions and uncertainties and fears we seldom talk about. A lot of our chemical usage was a way of hiding from all that weirdness. Living under the same roof with other fellows going through the same weirdness is a great way to accept it, understand it and work through the worst of those early times. In fact, being located in Statesboro GA is huge benefit to Arch, in that there are literally thousands in this town going through the same process.


You actually end up having a lot of fun ... It’s amazing to realize you can laugh again at funny things. You can have a great night’s sleep without any chemical help at all. It's a place to learn to truly appreciate other people and the struggles they endure. You find plenty of fun things to do clean and sober! I personally spent a lot of time fishing with a friend in recovery and playing golf with my sponsor.

-My sponsor has a great way of relating golf to sober life ... "step up, take your best shot and accept the results, good or bad.

No need to fight it, cuss it, hate it or hide from it. Walk up to the ball and hit it again! Each shot gets better and better. Before you know it, you're living life right, making good decisions, and hopefully, if you continue, playing better golf."

A good sponsor and a safe place to live are anchors to freedom ... To find someone who has been down the same path, experienced the same early pain and come out the other side with a clearer understanding of both themselves and the world around us. Early recovery, and often later recovery, can be a whirlwind of our minds telling us untruths. Sponsors, and others around us are great to have nearby to help work through those very uncertain times and see the real truths.

... Learning to accept what we can't change and changing the things we can, even when it's painful. It's not personal!

The world is not out to get us ... There's no need to hide from inevitable pains and challenges everyone experiences.


We come into recovery thinking ... All we need to do is get the stuff out of our system and everything will be fine. This is not the case for most of us. Just because we come into treatment, doesn't mean we get better. There is work to be done. We, with these unique minds who end up using alcohol and drugs as coping skills for life, have a lot of inner searching and greater understandings to come to terms with.


We must learn to stop fighting life ... These chemicals become our medicine and will, in most cases, become an addiction that is far harder to live with than the coping skills and understanding learned in Arch Recovery. I initially thought this was the worst solution anyone could endure ... no more drinking or drugging. But as my eyes, my heart and my mind cleared to a higher level of understanding, I realize it is a very simple cure for a complex problem. There are far far greater ailments people endure, both physically and mentally, that require far more complex treatment methods just to stay alive one more day.


Our program is a one day at a time program ... That, when lived that way, can add years of happiness to one's life ... without taking a single bit of medicine. I have seen many miraculous recovery stories come through Arch Recovery. Fellows who come in bitter, confused and basically lost in life find a true path, a greater understanding to life itself and move on to continue very successful lives. Some very quickly realize the basic challenges that come with life and understand that hiding from it, through drugs and alcohol is simply non-sustainable.


For some, it takes a little longer ... I had been through forty years of a roller coaster life as an alcoholic addict. Most of it pretty good, a lot really good, but with a monkey on my back the whole ride, creating a lot of misery along the way. I personally am thankful for the time at Arch, all the caring folks who have helped and cared along the way and in some strange way, for the long process back towards some sanity. It makes me appreciate it even more.


As I've always said,

"If you play, you will pay"


-Anonymous

Days Sober When This Was Written 2,390 (24hrs)


"To think it almost never happened...

-Anonymous


Follow The Links To:

Read Part 1 "The Drunken Years"

Read Part 2 "The Prescription Pill Addict Next Door"

Read Part 3 "An Almost Famous Chicken Named Woop"

You Are Here: Part 4 "How I Recovered From Addiction ... A Grateful Life ..."


©All Rights Reserved 2019 Arch Recovery https://www.archrecovery.org 912.678.4642


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ARCH Recovery

207 Broad St

Statesboro, GA 30458

(912) 678-4642

todd@archrecovery.org

County Of Bulloch

State Of Georgia

United States